Mount Olympius

10 Things I’ve learned over wine, watching the Olympics:

1. Gymnastics no longer “stick the landing,” which used to be the benchmark to their performance.
2. Gymnasts’ figures are distracting. While marveling at the short, wide shouldered, heavily glittered, pony tailed, sparkle leotarded muscles I was almost distracted from the not “sticking the landing.”
3. Olympic athletes’ are not what they were; this is exasperated by the Ancient Olympian allusions during the games’ stay in Athens, (and directly related to item 1.) I wanted to see someone jump hard on something sprained for the team.
4. The games were more exciting when the athletes peeked from behind the red curtain to battle the capitalists in a showcase of will and strength. Imagine Rocky IV if Ivan Drago was not a powerful yet arrogant Soviet fighting his own “cold war” in the ring. It would just be two beefy guys bouncing around to “Eye of the Tiger.”
5. The coaches aren’t as scary or loud.
6. The male Swimmers look like exclamation points (this observation was offered by a friend.)
7. I prefer the Winter Olympics.
8. I was even more disappointed in US loses after seeing the athlete’s inspirational short prior to the event i.e. overcome hardship to reach this moment only to fail in front of the world.
9. I outwardly laughed when a young gymnast come off the uneven bars into a mat face plant, and then felt bad about it.
10. I predominantly watched gymnastics and mourned my misspent youth and stationary lifestyle vowing to take up jogging the very next day.