Jaime Does Yoga and…

1. falls on the floor
2. will never be the same
3. is crippled by sore muscles.
4. is 2 inches taller

Saturday afternoon I set out to cross something off my ever growing resolution list: start taking Yoga classes. Next on the list is fighting off financial ruin, paying off the credit cards, and disinfecting the litter box at least once a month.

The instructor was everything I wanted in a “spiritual” leader, equal parts hippie, esoteric, nerdy and not in the least intimidating. After a good bit about finding your inner bliss and how not acknowledging the impermanence of things around us leads to disappointment and heart break (too pertinent), we began posing.

I’m not sure if you have ever been in a room filled with people breathing heavily and contorting in tight, organic cotton, but it can be a little distracting. It was very hard to imagine that I was made of clear blue sky and bright, un-blinding light. The poses were another story all together.

I secretly thought I was going to master the art of yoga in one afternoon. Having taking dance for many years (many years ago) I naturally thought that an exercise in flexibility and balance would be simple. I was wrong. On a number of occasions, the instructor had to come over to my mat and manually position me into the proper stance, after a loud warning that I may slip a disc. Oops. I found that when we were called to drop to the floor for “resting poses” I quite literally threw myself to the ground as if bowing awkwardly to the Yoga supreme, most uncomfortably (for both of us.) Other resting poses were publicly awkward, more specifically the happy baby. This pose should not be done in front of anyone, unless they are your gynecologist. Oof.

I had more luck with the standing poses, kind of. The Warrior was my favorite and once I thought I “nailed” it, I beamed with pride, expecting praise from the instructor. What I did receive was only an adjustment: legs into basically a split, and attitude into the unhappy baby.

On a happy note, it was a good feeling being able to even participate in such physical activity. I was forced to retreat from the world for such a long time that it feels amazing to find myself contorting myself back into it, one pose at a time.

I will leave you with my favorite names for poses:
Downward Facing Dog - Adho Mukha Svanasana
Half Lord of the Fishes Pose - Ardha Masyendrasana
Child's Pose - Balasana
Corpse Pose - Savasana http://cityroom.blogs.nytimes.com/2007/10/15/taking-the-yoga-corpse-pose-literally/
Happy Baby Pose - Ananda Balasana
Cat - Cow Stretch
Cobra Pose - Bhujangasana