Sign of the Times

Recession: “Last Exit before Hell”

The Associated Press
“For the first time, Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke acknowledged that the US could be headed into a Recession.” All I have to say is welcome to the party Benny. This is not news. Where have you been? Obviously you weren’t trying to get a job, buy/sell a home, pump gas, etc…

9 Year Olds in Georgia plan to murder Teacher: “Caution: Children at Play”

This is a particularly scary/ridiculous sign of the times. Since when have nine year olds gravitated toward punishing their teacher’s disciplining in class by death? These Georgian children set out on their insidious plan by giving each other homework assignments, each bringing in something to accomplish their deed, an evil show and tell. After seeing the inventory, it was apparent that the mastermind was indeed a 9 year old and fortunately for Georgia, 9 year olds aren’t that bright:

The instruments of death:
1. pair of red woolen mittens (Untied from coat sleeves)
2. pair of handcuffs (previous use: “Cops and Robbers”)
3. one pet rock (for budging)
4. one steak knife (parents took from local Outback)

9 Year in NYC rides the Subway Alone; Mother lets him: “Be prepared to Stop”

How is this news worthy? How is this a complete segment on a morning News program?
When asked how he enjoyed his solo subway ride from Bloomingdales back to his apartment, the child responded: “it was finally nice to get time by myself so I could conspire and hatch my plan to rid the school of my teacher. Mur ha ha.”